Sorry docs, your handwriting sucks

The prick will cause or ease the pain?

Years ago, I heard about the awkward predicament of a young girl. She used to visit chemist shops frequently. No, she was not a patient of chronic diarrhoea; she was in a long-distance relationship with a doctor who used to write to her love letters thrice a week. Like most doctors, his handwriting was also illegible. It could not be read: it could only be deciphered.

Most doctors write illegibly and it’s extremely annoying. We have all experienced it. Forget about the names of the medicines, we can’t even figure out whether we have to pop the pill before waking up or after going to bed. Like a bunch of buffoons, we depend on the extraordinary ability of salesmen at medicine shops to understand what has been prescribed for us and how the drugs have to be administered on us. “Why can’t these buggers write clearly?” an exasperated chemist near my residence once muttered when I handed over to him a medical prescription. The query could indeed by categorised as a universal poser: Why don’t doctors write legibly? But I believe the more pertinent question here should be: Why do doctors write illegibly and what does it mean? We’ll try finding answers to this.

In many cases, gaining health means losing wealth

Last month, I came across a report about a Mumbai doctor who was lambasted by a court of law for preparing a medical report in illegible handwriting. Following the rap, she gave an undertaking in the court that she would try to improve her handwriting. (Read the report). It was a good precedent set by the court and I was savouring the news that morning. Even as I was reading the report, a friend called up and said, “Vish, why don’t you write on doctors’ illegible handwriting?”

“If I do, I will die unattended when I’m unwell. Because if by any chance the doctor who has read this happens to encounter me as a patient, he will look at me as if I were a dead body, not an ailing person,” I told the friend.

“Never mind. There are certainly a few doctors who write legibly and you can depend on them” she argued.

She was right. I decided to write on doctors who write illegibly. Here we go:

Handwriting experts across the world have established that consistent illegible handwriting is indicative of a subconscious inclination to be careless, negligent and sloppy towards the person for whom it has been written. Therefore, if a doctor writes illegibly for his patients, it means he is inconsiderate to the recipients of the prescriptions. It’s like an attitude imprinted on the paper, which could be roughly put into words in the following manner: “I don’t care whether you are able to read it or not; I don’t care whether you get well or not; I am sitting here doing my job the way I like, in my own style. How much you will be benefitted from my skills is your problem and I am not going to be least bothered about what happens to you after you leave this cabin. Just pay the fee to my assistant and get out…”

Doctor, writing legibly means showing care. Do patients not deserve that?

I know it sounds bizarre but that’s what illegible handwriting means. This attitude among some doctors emanates from the realisation of a power to effect changes in an individual’s physical existence. The power is extraordinary and very few can handle it with ease and without losing their sanity. And no doubt some doctors are as fallible as any other humans and they argue that they write illegibly because they are in haste and they have to attend to many patients. Now, I have a serious problem with this argument. It’s complete hogwash. We can prove it. On an average, a doctor does not write more than 40 words on a prescription. Let’s assume that they take about three minutes to write a prescription in illegible handwriting. But if they wrote legibly, maybe they would take four minutes. Right? The difference is just about 60 seconds. Doc, do you really want me to believe that you write illegibly because you are too busy to spare 60 seconds? Sorry, sir, give me another one. If you consistently write illegibly for your patients, it shows your carelessness and inconsideration.

Illegible handwriting

Here is an example: the same friend who told me to write on doctors’ illegible handwriting shared with me that her grandfather, a doctor by profession, used to write illegibly while writing prescriptions, but he showed amazing clarity in handwriting when he wrote personal letters. Every time he wrote to his dear family members, he wanted to show his caring nature. And he used to show that through clarity in his handwriting. Do you see a clearer picture now? Haven’t all of us experienced that we become concerned about legibility while writing on greetings cards or love cards? Have you ever thought why? I’m sure you got your answer today: legibility, graphology says, is a subconscious way to show care. So, next time you receive a get-well-soon card with messages written in illegible handwriting, I’m sure you will know how to take it.

Pills that generate only bills

Docs, if your signature is as illegible as your handwriting, then I really do not know what to say. I’ll rather not get into that subject here, as I don’t want doctors to issue a fatwa against me and blacklist me as a patient. Illegible handwriting with illegible signature is a deadly combination. The patients of such doctors say: “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.” Docs, no hard feelings. Now, permit me to offer you a suggestion, docs. Please write legibly and you will discover a sudden drop in the number of notices against you for negligence.

By the way, guys, what do you think of the relationship between the doc and the girl who visited the chemist shop frequently? Do you think that guy loved her? I’m not telling you the answer. This one is easy. Go figure!

(You may read this and many other articles on the website of Handwriting University International) To know more about the blog and know how graphotherapy works, click here.

MR MITTAL’S HANDWRITING ANALYSIS

Mr Mittal's handwriting sample

In this post I am analysing the handwriting sample of Mr N Mittal, a Write Choice visitor. Mr Mittal is a rare combination of intense emotions, dignity, pride, honour and self-respect. He always watches a fight between his emotions and his pride. Emotions want him to let go, but his pride stops him for showing what he feels. He has an excessive need to appear right and look appropriate. Mr Mittal always feels he should not say or do anything that is below his dignity. If anyone does not oblige him on his first request, he won’t say it again. He shows respect for people, gives them importance, offers them space and expects other to treat him similarly. He is too proud of the way he looks and handles things in his life. Watch out, Mr Mittal! There is a thin line dividing pride and vanity. Anyone who wants to win his favour needs to appeal to his heart. He is guided by emotions, though he does not exhibit them very often. Mr Mittal sets practical and achievable goals for himself and he pretty much achieves them. He has a keen interest in philosophy and spirituality and ardently pursues acquisition of knowledge. He is emotionally distant from both his parents, especially mom. And it’s likely his mom was a disciplinarian at home.

POP A PEN KILLER

Mr Mittal, I don’t recommend any changes in your handwriting at the moment. But I would like you to bring about some changes in your signature (I’m not showing it for ). I see that the first letter of your first name is overwritten by your second name. I suggest you separate them and use your full name in the signature, making sure that the ‘N’ is the biggest letter in the entire signature. It’s ok to underline your signature the way you do now. All the best!

Honey, why do you fear? It’s just a tear

DON'T TOUCH ME! I AM NOT TO BE DEFLOWERED

“Virginity is not a matter of dignity; it’s a lack of opportunity.” I don’t know who said it first, but it’s quoted very often to disparage the distance between a human being and the sinful Apple. This “Absolute Truth” was introduced to me by an ex-girlfriend in Calcutta about three years ago. Giving me a cold and hard stare, the sweet girl had made the remark after I nodded (with the virginal innocence of a squirrel) in response to her simple query: “Are you virgin?”

For two reasons I could not figure out why she asked that or what she wanted from me. First, I don’t have her handwriting sample and secondly, I did not know then how to analyse handwriting. Our relationship was ephemeral as I left the City of Joy and we were more than reluctant to run an STD relationship, assisted by SIM cards, keypads and “touch”-screens.

Last week, a similar question on the MDTV (Most Desired Trait Called Virginity) by a good friend sent me into delirious, stomach-bursting laughter. My friend also said she had been thinking of asking me the question for the past few months, but felt too shy. Her question was: Can handwriting analysis reveal whether a person is virgin? I told her I would answer this question on my blog. So here is the answer. (Now, I know I have your attention — neck and crop. Half of my readers are horny scoundrels who like to pry into others’ sex lives. However, you, my dear, belong to the other half, don’t you?)

Faced with questions on virginity, many people turn into impregnable forts. It’s indeed an interesting issue. Can handwriting really bare whether a person has lost virginity or not?

GOT GUTS TO HAVE ME?

I’ll give you the answer in a moment. Permit me a brief digression here. We’ll talk about a murder mystery. In a murder case, a man is arrested because prima facie it appears that he killed his wife. Now, can the handwriting of the accused uncover whether he killed his spouse? Graphology says the handwriting of a person can reveal whether he has criminal tendencies and possesses the ability to be fatally violent. It can also reveal what the accused thought of his wife or how much he loved her. But even if the science concludes that the husband hated her, it can’t tell precisely whether it was he who killed her. It’s possible that another person who harboured fiercer hatred for the woman killed her.

HEY, WE'RE NOT PROMISCUOUS...

Similarly, handwriting can tell about a person’s sex drive and the steps or risks he or she can take to fulfil the sexual urges. It can also disclose whether one partner is sufficient for a person or he is promiscuous and wants multiple partners. Interestingly, handwriting also reveals a writer’s sexual guilt and openness to one-night stands.  But I regret to inform you dear friends that handwriting can’t reveal whether the writer is virgin or not. That’s because one may have a great deal of sexual energy, but whether one has used it or not can’t be figured out by a graphologist. So, don’t you dare pick up a magnifying glass and start looking for thin ruptures or tears in the lower part of a letter. Breaks in letters mean anything but loss of virginity. Alright? A person wants to use his sexual organ or stores it in a chemical-filled glass jar is beyond the purview of graphology. So guys, please stop sending me emails with your girlfriends’ handwriting samples to know whether… Shut up!

...I AM THE PROMISCUOUS GIRL

You might be expecting me to illustrate how to figure out the physical drive of a person. I have discussed that in the past (You like Planter’s Punch or Sex On The Beach). About promiscuity, I must tell you that just because a person has an extremely good sex drive, it does not mean that he will have no sexual morals. A person’s sense of right and wrong in any matter is seen in the upper zone in his handwriting. He can be a rock star in bed but at the same time be too choosy. So because of his fastidious nature, he will not get himself involved with just about anyone. Makes sense? In short, a person can be called promiscuous only when exaggerated sexual imagination, combined with certain traits including impulsiveness, indiscipline and lack of morality, is present in his handwriting.

A SCARED MONICA NEEDS TO OPEN UP

MONICA'S HANDWRITING SAMPLE

In this post, I am analysing the handwriting of Monica who sent me her sample via email. Monica, the first thing your handwriting throws at my face is your unwillingness to connect with people around you. You may speak to them for business purposes but when it comes to making a friend with whom you could communicate at a personal level, you find yourself at a loss. Lack of emotional fulfillment as child and a broken trust (by friends, maybe one of the parents) many years ago has left you shattered and you don’t at all feel the need to talk about yourself to anyone. On your off days, you want to be alone rather than going out and meeting new people. Unknowingly, you have turned away many people who wanted to be friends with you. That happened just because you appear too cold and unresponsive. Monica, let me make it clear that I am not saying there is anything wrong with you. What I mean is that your heart plays a minimal role in any decision you make — be it to make friends or buy a new suit for yourself. Also, you don’t allow people to come near you because you think if they come near, all they will do is to hurt you, renege on promises and break your trust.

The second most significant aspect of your personality revealed by your handwriting is that at the end of every day you feel there were a lot of things you were supposed to do, but you could not finish. More often than not, you plans go haywire. Principally, it’s because you are not able to make decision fast. Before you can make up your mind about what to do, you see that the opportunity has slipped away. You handwriting says you speak pretty slowly and if you ever call me to come with you for shopping, I will decline. Because you will take so much time deciding what to buy!

The best think about you is: You are too soft-spoken and people seldom hear you screaming or ranting for any reason whatsoever. A level-headed girl, in short. Now, a very important suggestion for you, Monica: Please do not hammer yourself for your “incompetence” and “failure” when you sit with yourself in private.  You always do that. These words are the creation of your mind.When you are in your own company, you look at your problems rather than planning how to go about solving your problems. For God’s sake, jump around sometimes loosen up and if possible, listen to Nescafe. You will feel better, honey.

POP A PEN KILLER

CORRECTION

Monica, write “I will surely live freely” for a month at a stretch and make sure your f’s are written exactly as you see in CORRECTION. Also bring about a slight increase in the personal pronoun ‘I’. The exercise will help you plan everything you do and with a good planning, you will probably face fewer obstacles in getting what you want. All the best, Monica!

Do leave your comments in the space below. Till the next post, find other sources of having fun!