“Virginity is not a matter of dignity; it’s a lack of opportunity.” I don’t know who said it first, but it’s quoted very often to disparage the distance between a human being and the sinful Apple. This “Absolute Truth” was introduced to me by an ex-girlfriend in Calcutta about three years ago. Giving me a cold and hard stare, the sweet girl had made the remark after I nodded (with the virginal innocence of a squirrel) in response to her simple query: “Are you virgin?”
For two reasons I could not figure out why she asked that or what she wanted from me. First, I don’t have her handwriting sample and secondly, I did not know then how to analyse handwriting. Our relationship was ephemeral as I left the City of Joy and we were more than reluctant to run an STD relationship, assisted by SIM cards, keypads and “touch”-screens.
Last week, a similar question on the MDTV (Most Desired Trait Called Virginity) by a good friend sent me into delirious, stomach-bursting laughter. My friend also said she had been thinking of asking me the question for the past few months, but felt too shy. Her question was: Can handwriting analysis reveal whether a person is virgin? I told her I would answer this question on my blog. So here is the answer. (Now, I know I have your attention — neck and crop. Half of my readers are horny scoundrels who like to pry into others’ sex lives. However, you, my dear, belong to the other half, don’t you?)
Faced with questions on virginity, many people turn into impregnable forts. It’s indeed an interesting issue. Can handwriting really bare whether a person has lost virginity or not?
I’ll give you the answer in a moment. Permit me a brief digression here. We’ll talk about a murder mystery. In a murder case, a man is arrested because prima facie it appears that he killed his wife. Now, can the handwriting of the accused uncover whether he killed his spouse? Graphology says the handwriting of a person can reveal whether he has criminal tendencies and possesses the ability to be fatally violent. It can also reveal what the accused thought of his wife or how much he loved her. But even if the science concludes that the husband hated her, it can’t tell precisely whether it was he who killed her. It’s possible that another person who harboured fiercer hatred for the woman killed her.
Similarly, handwriting can tell about a person’s sex drive and the steps or risks he or she can take to fulfil the sexual urges. It can also disclose whether one partner is sufficient for a person or he is promiscuous and wants multiple partners. Interestingly, handwriting also reveals a writer’s sexual guilt and openness to one-night stands. But I regret to inform you dear friends that handwriting can’t reveal whether the writer is virgin or not. That’s because one may have a great deal of sexual energy, but whether one has used it or not can’t be figured out by a graphologist. So, don’t you dare pick up a magnifying glass and start looking for thin ruptures or tears in the lower part of a letter. Breaks in letters mean anything but loss of virginity. Alright? A person wants to use his sexual organ or stores it in a chemical-filled glass jar is beyond the purview of graphology. So guys, please stop sending me emails with your girlfriends’ handwriting samples to know whether… Shut up!
You might be expecting me to illustrate how to figure out the physical drive of a person. I have discussed that in the past (You like Planter’s Punch or Sex On The Beach). About promiscuity, I must tell you that just because a person has an extremely good sex drive, it does not mean that he will have no sexual morals. A person’s sense of right and wrong in any matter is seen in the upper zone in his handwriting. He can be a rock star in bed but at the same time be too choosy. So because of his fastidious nature, he will not get himself involved with just about anyone. Makes sense? In short, a person can be called promiscuous only when exaggerated sexual imagination, combined with certain traits including impulsiveness, indiscipline and lack of morality, is present in his handwriting.
A SCARED MONICA NEEDS TO OPEN UP
In this post, I am analysing the handwriting of Monica who sent me her sample via email. Monica, the first thing your handwriting throws at my face is your unwillingness to connect with people around you. You may speak to them for business purposes but when it comes to making a friend with whom you could communicate at a personal level, you find yourself at a loss. Lack of emotional fulfillment as child and a broken trust (by friends, maybe one of the parents) many years ago has left you shattered and you don’t at all feel the need to talk about yourself to anyone. On your off days, you want to be alone rather than going out and meeting new people. Unknowingly, you have turned away many people who wanted to be friends with you. That happened just because you appear too cold and unresponsive. Monica, let me make it clear that I am not saying there is anything wrong with you. What I mean is that your heart plays a minimal role in any decision you make — be it to make friends or buy a new suit for yourself. Also, you don’t allow people to come near you because you think if they come near, all they will do is to hurt you, renege on promises and break your trust.
The second most significant aspect of your personality revealed by your handwriting is that at the end of every day you feel there were a lot of things you were supposed to do, but you could not finish. More often than not, you plans go haywire. Principally, it’s because you are not able to make decision fast. Before you can make up your mind about what to do, you see that the opportunity has slipped away. You handwriting says you speak pretty slowly and if you ever call me to come with you for shopping, I will decline. Because you will take so much time deciding what to buy!
The best think about you is: You are too soft-spoken and people seldom hear you screaming or ranting for any reason whatsoever. A level-headed girl, in short. Now, a very important suggestion for you, Monica: Please do not hammer yourself for your “incompetence” and “failure” when you sit with yourself in private. You always do that. These words are the creation of your mind.When you are in your own company, you look at your problems rather than planning how to go about solving your problems. For God’s sake, jump around sometimes loosen up and if possible, listen to Nescafe. You will feel better, honey.
POP A PEN KILLER
Monica, write “I will surely live freely” for a month at a stretch and make sure your f’s are written exactly as you see in CORRECTION. Also bring about a slight increase in the personal pronoun ‘I’. The exercise will help you plan everything you do and with a good planning, you will probably face fewer obstacles in getting what you want. All the best, Monica!
Do leave your comments in the space below. Till the next post, find other sources of having fun!